urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:babylamb1020 babylamb1020 babylamb1020 2008-04-02T21:52:09Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:babylamb1020:797 2008-04-02T21:52:09Z 2008-04-02T21:52:09Z &nbsp;&nbsp;Hello<br /><br />I'm new,&nbsp; just wanted to say hi to everyone.&nbsp; Although I've never posted, I've been reading your posts for a while and they've really helped in my battle against food.&nbsp; This time last year I lost quite&nbsp;a bit of weight (about 3 stone), and i now weigh about 8 stone.&nbsp; It's wierd how it's never enough though.&nbsp; If I could have imagined being this weight when I was at my biggest I would have thought that would have been perfect, but when I look at myself now I just see so many imperfections and more things to change.&nbsp; I can still see so much flab when I look at myself, although friends say I look too skinny I just don't see it.&nbsp; Do any of you ever wonder if your perception of yourself is different to what others see.&nbsp; I would love to be able to see myself through someone elses eyes for a change, I never trust mirrors, they're bullshit.&nbsp; Anyway, recently things have been getting a bit out of hand, I've been vomiting most days, even after eating nothing all day and then having a&nbsp; weight watchers ready meal, I still feel like I've eaten too much and have to throw up, which is getting harder and more painful to do the more I do it.&nbsp; I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend&nbsp;about&nbsp;this during one of my lower points, and now he's&nbsp;always watching me, and I feel awful about&nbsp;lying and covering up&nbsp; I don't know why I feel like this.&nbsp; No offence, but when I look at pictures of your "thinspo" stuff, that's not what I want to be like at all, in fact it really scares me.&nbsp; I just always feel like if I lost that extra half a stone things would look a lot better, which I know isn't going to happen but I keep on anyway.&nbsp; Hopefully one day we will all find some happiness and maybe we won't have to be obsessed with this shit anymore.<br />Take Care urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:babylamb1020:729 2008-04-02T21:49:37Z 2008-04-02T21:49:37Z &nbsp;Hello<br /><br />I'm new,&nbsp; just wanted to say hi to everyone.&nbsp; Although I've never posted, I've been reading your posts for a while and they've really helped in my battle against food.&nbsp; This time last year I lost quite&nbsp;a bit of weight (about 3 stone), and i now weigh about 8 stone.&nbsp; It's wierd how it's never enough though.&nbsp; If I could have imagined being this weight when I was at my biggest I would have thought that would have been perfect, but when I look at myself now I just see so many imperfections and more things to change.&nbsp; I can still see so much flab when I look at myself, although friends say I look too skinny I just don't see it.&nbsp; Do any of you ever wonder if your perception of yourself is different to what others see.&nbsp; I would love to be able to see myself through someone elses eyes for a change, I never trust mirrors, they're bullshit.&nbsp; Anyway, recently things have been getting a bit out of hand, I've been vomiting most days, even after eating nothing all day and then having a&nbsp; weight watchers ready meal, I still feel like I've eaten too much and have to throw up, which is getting harder and more painful to do the more I do it.&nbsp; I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend&nbsp;about&nbsp;this during one of my lower points, and now he's&nbsp;always watching me, and I feel awful about&nbsp;lying and covering up&nbsp; I don't know why I feel like this.&nbsp; No offence, but when I look at pictures of your "thinspo" stuff, that's not what I want to be like at all, in fact it really scares me.&nbsp; I just always feel like if I lost that extra half a stone things would look a lot better, which I know isn't going to happen but I keep on anyway.&nbsp; Hopefully one day we will all find some happiness and maybe we won't have to be obsessed with this shit anymore.<br />Take Care