Hello

I'm new,  just wanted to say hi to everyone.  Although I've never posted, I've been reading your posts for a while and they've really helped in my battle against food.  This time last year I lost quite a bit of weight (about 3 stone), and i now weigh about 8 stone.  It's wierd how it's never enough though.  If I could have imagined being this weight when I was at my biggest I would have thought that would have been perfect, but when I look at myself now I just see so many imperfections and more things to change.  I can still see so much flab when I look at myself, although friends say I look too skinny I just don't see it.  Do any of you ever wonder if your perception of yourself is different to what others see.  I would love to be able to see myself through someone elses eyes for a change, I never trust mirrors, they're bullshit.  Anyway, recently things have been getting a bit out of hand, I've been vomiting most days, even after eating nothing all day and then having a  weight watchers ready meal, I still feel like I've eaten too much and have to throw up, which is getting harder and more painful to do the more I do it.  I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend about this during one of my lower points, and now he's always watching me, and I feel awful about lying and covering up  I don't know why I feel like this.  No offence, but when I look at pictures of your "thinspo" stuff, that's not what I want to be like at all, in fact it really scares me.  I just always feel like if I lost that extra half a stone things would look a lot better, which I know isn't going to happen but I keep on anyway.  Hopefully one day we will all find some happiness and maybe we won't have to be obsessed with this shit anymore.
Take Care

 Hello

I'm new,  just wanted to say hi to everyone.  Although I've never posted, I've been reading your posts for a while and they've really helped in my battle against food.  This time last year I lost quite a bit of weight (about 3 stone), and i now weigh about 8 stone.  It's wierd how it's never enough though.  If I could have imagined being this weight when I was at my biggest I would have thought that would have been perfect, but when I look at myself now I just see so many imperfections and more things to change.  I can still see so much flab when I look at myself, although friends say I look too skinny I just don't see it.  Do any of you ever wonder if your perception of yourself is different to what others see.  I would love to be able to see myself through someone elses eyes for a change, I never trust mirrors, they're bullshit.  Anyway, recently things have been getting a bit out of hand, I've been vomiting most days, even after eating nothing all day and then having a  weight watchers ready meal, I still feel like I've eaten too much and have to throw up, which is getting harder and more painful to do the more I do it.  I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend about this during one of my lower points, and now he's always watching me, and I feel awful about lying and covering up  I don't know why I feel like this.  No offence, but when I look at pictures of your "thinspo" stuff, that's not what I want to be like at all, in fact it really scares me.  I just always feel like if I lost that extra half a stone things would look a lot better, which I know isn't going to happen but I keep on anyway.  Hopefully one day we will all find some happiness and maybe we won't have to be obsessed with this shit anymore.
Take Care